Saturday, October 12, 2013

Healing through Conference

 I was eager to hear the words from the leaders of my church in this past Conference. I looked forward to it almost like it was that magic pill that would help me get out of this funk I had been in. In the General Relief Society broadcast I was touched by the words of our Prophet Thomas S. Monson. I know there are a lot of people who suffer from depression or are having a moment like mine. Listening to the Prophet's talk I truly felt like he had stayed up one night and prepared this talk specifically for me. Like he thought Koko will be at this meeting and needs to hear this. I also felt like the lord literally reached out to me that night. Almost like he picked up my soul from the ground like he did the woman being judged of adultery by the scribes and the pharisees. In my case the scribes and pharisees were myself,my negativity and my hard judgement. I felt he took my hand and told me all would be ok. That he loved ME and was thinking of ME! This was the part that I loved so much I felt the spirit so strong and almost did the ugly cry. It made me reflect a lot on how bad I am towards myself and how much Heavenly Father loves me no matter what and that I too should do the same, love myself for who I am!!

My dear sisters, your Heavenly Father Loves you-each of you. That love never changes. It is not influenced by your appearance,by your possessions, or by the amount of money you have in your bank account. It is not changed by your talents and abilities. It is simply there. It is there for you when you are sad or happy,discouraged or hopeful. God's love is there for you whether or not you feel you deserve love. It is simply always there.

Thomas S. Monson

Prior to conference I was dealing with a lot of negativity. I was being Negative Nancy with a capital N. I think I was overwhelmed with projects and having two small children who depend on me a lot still! and dealing with the fact I hadn't reached certain goals in my weight loss and other personal goals. I have had moments where I felt completely conquered by negativity where I just had no energy and rather lay in bed all day.  I was sometimes (my husband would say always) too hard on myself on how I needed to look, weigh or just be.  I would go back and think I use to be this way and now.... now I'm not.  I felt like I hadn't improved but I had retrogressed in certain areas in my life. Like I was not being who I needed to be. Getting up in the morning was hard because I knew it was another day that I had to manage smiling while doing all the routine things. The more I told myself what a failure I was the more my chores around the house would sit untouched. Getting dressed and ready in the morning was difficult because finding what to wear was a touchy subject... I started to feel depressed and I know I didn't like the feeling but I didn't know how to get out of it. This talk came in the right time for me and has strengthen my testimony that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ know each and everyone of us by name. They know what we need, they know how we are feeling and they love us! I also know that the Prophet Thomas S. Monson is a true prophet upon this earth. He  guides us through the direction of our Heavenly Father. The whole talk is so amazing and just perfect for any of us feeling this way. We all have trials and things going on but we do have to remember to PRAY and ask for strength to conquer our fears, our blues and just our negative thoughts. His love and guidance will always be there. I have felt a lot better since this talk and I am now seeing the light! I have found energy to get those projects done and I have found the strength to share my feelings with friends and family who support me and strengthen me!  I am very blessed! 

If you would like to read more of what was shared in conference just click here!

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